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I'm bad at this... [Jul. 31st, 2013|02:41 pm]
My manager's mother passed away about a week ago and she's coming back next week. The thing is that I'm one of those people who doesn't know what to say or do when someone is sad like this. I did text her something like "I'm so sorry. Take as much time as you need. Everything will be okay," after I heard. I haven't talked to her since. We usually talk and work together a lot and we seem to be pretty good work friends. We haven't hung out outside of work before. She was pretty upset when her mom was in the hospital, trying to not cry at work. She's not insanely emotional, but she did cry at work once or twice just quietly.So I guess what I want to know is.

How should I approach her next week?

Should I treat it like a normal day and talk about the usual dumb stuff I always talk about?
Should I just be silent and give her time to ease into work?


Got any funny gifs?
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What is your interpretation of one of your recent dreams? [Jul. 30th, 2012|09:19 pm]
I had a dream the other night that me and my sister were hanging out like we used to, just the two of us. No baby, no men. It was pretty fun. Usually when I have a dream about my sister it's because I need to call her or something. At least that's what I think about the whole thing. I know things will never be like the way they were again, that's just how life works out. It was fun to dream it though. We went shopping, and ate at Wendy's like we used to. Listened to punk rock, and cruised in out old car "Big Rhonda". I miss her so much more then I care to say sometimes. Life happens though. Even though we're towns apart we're still sisters and we still love each other.
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Half asleep realization... [Jun. 29th, 2011|08:12 pm]
[Tags|, , , , , , , , , , , , , ]
[Current Location |United States, New Mexico, Albuquerque]
[mood |optimisticoptimistic]

Occasionally I wake up to get to work in the morning and my mind is strange. It also happens when I'm tired. It's in my own head I realize there's more out there then my life. It's not just a thought, it's a feeling. I know I can do anything I want, but most of the time I don't feel like I can. In these moments I feel like I really really can. It's the most beautiful posotive feeling I've felt besides love. In these thoughts I want to not only travel the world, quit my job, have an adventure, I also want to help the world, like be in the Peace Corps, visit places where I can help needy people out, and not only get to know them, but see their culture. I want to do so much in this moment. I realize we live on such a small planet, in the middle of a vast universe, this little planet is all we have, and we have to take care of it, and the people that inhabit it. Despite all the shit, the money, the objects, the politicians, we are all people trying to survive. Some have a harder time then others and we NEED to help them.  I will try once I get the resources.
Even in my job situation, lately I'm loving it. It's not stagnant, there's different things happening all the time. It's exilerating. I get so happy and excited to go to my job and make cupcakes n bake. I'm happy right now.
Today I got paid and we went to go eat out. I appreciate it more because it's becoming scarce with our financial situation. I loved it, I was so happy and excited just to have simple meal that I used to eat everynight. It's better when I have it everyonce in a while.
I was watching a commercial about Justin Bieber. It's so hard to believe you can get it all so fast from a couple of youtube videos. Or like Criss Angel who had a hard time starting out, just getting people on his show. Now he's got so many fans. It's hard to believe this is even possible, if it ever happened to me I'd be like what...this ain't real, and if it is, it's won't last long, something's bound to bring me down. Maybe I'm too negative.
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Looking back from here... [Jun. 27th, 2011|09:41 pm]
[Current Location |United States, New Mexico, Albuquerque]
[mood |nostalgicnostalgic]
[music |Coldplay (album) rush of blood to the head.]

I looked at a photo album today. It taught me the importance of a disposable camera versus a digital. You have the pictures to hold in your hand, and not on your computer and eventually you'll get around to printing them. If not for disposable camera, or even a film only camera these memories of my child would've been lost on a computer somewhere. But instead I got to see them and hold them. I don't remember a lot about my childhood, but I do remember most of theses pictures. I remember having Christmas at grandma's, and going to Mexico for the first time, my GED graduation, and the first time we went camping out on my mother's reservation, our thanksgiving trip out the Oklahoma, and even just taking pictures for the fun of it in my grandma's yard. The trips to Red RIver when my parents still loved each other, and when we hadn't discovered my dad was an alcoholic. The pictures of how totally tom boy-ish I was, and how my little sister almost looked gothic. When it was just the four of us having fun. Pictures with my sister and best friend. I look back on all that and I want to cry. Why? Because in the time between then and now, life has just swept up on me and surprised me. It was in that moment I realized that SO so much has changed. I realized I'm an adult. Even just writing like that my mind doesn't want to believe it. I still feel like a 15 year old kid, who pretends to know what they're doing in an adult world.Yet I've grown. That feeling never vanished for me. It did for the person who is closest to me. My little sister. It happened the day she had her baby boy. It was like the pain she went through having him, was the pain of her 15 year old kid leaving. That day she became not only a mother...but an adult. I've been left behind. Even being married doesn't make me feel grown. Organizing that wedding, I didn't know what the heck I was doing. Even though confidence shined through, inside I was like " okay...I guess this is right."  This is not the only time this has happened, it happens everyday I work. 
It's so strange how it ended up like this. It's good here. I'm not saying any of the change was bad. Change happens. It's just the feeling is so strange when I look back at things.
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shit [Dec. 21st, 2009|06:28 pm]
[mood |crankycranky]

oh we live with these people (uncle 3 teenage cousins) and really me and my bf have to share a bathroom with them. so basically if you had some oober horrible diahrrea most of the time the only option left would be backyard. So good thing we eat junk food is all I'm saying, otherwise we'd probably have to dig a letrain in the backyard. GEEZZ!!!
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lol [Dec. 21st, 2009|06:17 pm]
Well look at this. Lol I just read my old entries. How Weird. Lol it was like a time machine. Things are different now I suppose. Me and cj still love eachother, my sister is still a wonderful bitch, lol I mean that in the nicest way possible when it comes to commenting someone on being a bitch. My dad is gone however. Us and that side of the family had a falling out after my alcoholic dad decided to throw a vodka bottle I'd just emptied at my little sister. Anyway that lady I called my grandmother is just as much a bitter old lady as she was when I told her happy birthday.
My other grandmother died a while back. I loved her. I was only just getting to know her.

I got a car, me and christain named it BIG RHONDA. lol don't know why. Work has got the best of me. However right now I'm working on my Bakery dream and my Writing dream.
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wow...that's not the same. [Sep. 28th, 2009|01:12 am]
Things here are as fine as can be. I'm going to end up getting dropped from my classes cause christain is sick and needs me here. It's ok. I accept what fate has in store for me. I'm watching THE PEOPLES COURT. Now I'm back after a while of absense. I guess everything is ok.

Wow that was a long time ago...things have changed.
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(no subject) [Oct. 23rd, 2007|01:41 pm]
Things here are as fine as can be. I'm going to end up getting dropped from my classes cause christain is sick and needs me here. It's ok. I accept what fate has in store for me. I'm watching THE PEOPLES COURT. Now I'm back after a while of absense. I guess everything is ok.
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The price is right... [Oct. 22nd, 2007|11:05 am]
The price is right is weird now.....but i guess it might be easy to get used to.
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(no subject) [Sep. 19th, 2007|12:15 pm]
Lee Lee: hi love
Lee Lee: are you there?!!!!!
cj_16az: yes
Lee Lee: hi
cj_16az: hello sexy
cj_16az: did you miss me
Lee Lee: yes
Lee Lee: did you miss me?
cj_16az: of course
cj_16az: dont i always
cj_16az: lol
Lee Lee: lol
cj_16az: well i guess today is the day to see if you can pay for it or not huh
Lee Lee: yeah heh
cj_16az: i know if you love me and stuff it will work out
Lee Lee: i love you no matter what anyway.
You have accepted the invitation to view cj_16az's webcam.

cj_16az: i love you hunny did your screen break
cj_16az: lol
Lee Lee: i love you too
cj_16az: im hoping for good news
Lee Lee: baby i thought i'd feel better today but i don't
cj_16az: why is that
Lee Lee: i dont' know
Lee Lee: i feel....bad
Lee Lee: i thought i would be hopeful and my love would be stronger but....it hasnt' changed....it's gotten worse.
cj_16az: should i fade away
cj_16az: i should fade away chantelle
Lee Lee: cj i'm scared
cj_16az: scared of what hunny
cj_16az: i love you with all my heart
Lee Lee: that my love is just infatuation
cj_16az: ok
cj_16az: i get it
cj_16az: ill fade away chantelle ok
cj_16az: i looked at your pictures
cj_16az: and i seen how in love you are with me i could see it in your eyes
cj_16az: and now im sad
cj_16az: cause i seen what kind of person you are i cant belevie its the same person
cj_16az: that talks to me on the pone
cj_16az: the person in the pictures is so gorgeous and beautiful
cj_16az: and looks like shes ready
cj_16az: for me to love her forever
cj_16az: and the one on the phone isnt sure of me
cj_16az: and so im sad
cj_16az: cause i want you to love me
cj_16az: i was so happy hunny please love me
cj_16az: are you there
Lee Lee: there's something here because i don't want you to leave me
Lee Lee: the thought makes me want to cry
cj_16az: whats theer chantelel
Lee Lee: i'm scared
cj_16az: i want to cry right now
Lee Lee: i'm so scared
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